30
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| The flowers that Seth got me. |
When I was younger, I thought that when I turned 30 it would be the end of the world. I would be soooo old and I could never even imagine the day.
Yet, my birthday has come and gone and I am still alive and kicking. Actually, I don't even care that I am 30. I have felt 30 for about 6 years or so. I still feel young and capable and I don't quite understand why people have such issues with age. Although I may be whistling a different tune when 40 or 50 rolls around :)
A lot has happened in my 30 years of life. Good, Bad and Ugly. I have had great joys and been through trials I wouldn't wish on anyone. All these moments (good and bad) in my life have made me the person I am today, and I wouldn't change them.
So here are 30 things about me, Things I have learned, how I have changed, or just random things. In no particular order.
1. I have learned that I am a very loyal person. When I make a good friend its typically for life. However, I have also learned that I can only put up with so much. I cant continually give in a friendship without any effort on the other persons part. When I reach my limit, I quit trying.
2. I really do enjoy eating healthy. It makes me feel better about myself. My body likes it too. Unfortunately I also really love to eat junk. I am working on it.
3. Even though I have been told this all my life I never really understood. People have always told me I am very straight forward and honest. Which I always try to be. This has been both for the good and the bad in my life. As I mature, I understand more what it means because I get so frustrated when people do not do the same. Just give me a straight answer will you! However my bluntness has a tendency to hurt people, unintentionally, and this is why I try hard to really think before I speak. (although I do admit that doesn't always happen:))
4. I am extremely afraid of spiders. The little tiny ones I can handle, but here in Texas there are wolf spiders and sometimes they get rather large. For some reason I always happen to be the one to spot them! Long story short, recently there was a giant one on my dish washer door. It was down, ready to be loaded and that dang spider was on it, about the size of a football, OK maybe a tangerine. I literally had an anxiety attack, I started sweating and breathing hard, Seth wasn't home. Anything I could have used on it was on the other side of that thing. I ran outside to see if the neighbor was out. No such luck. I heard a UPS truck and hoped it would stop at my house, it didn't I called Seth and my sister. I was freaking out! In the end, I sprinted pass the thing to the broom. Took about 15 minutes to get my courage, while jumping up and down and almost crying and finally whacked the thing like I was a major league ball player! I sucked up the body in the vacuum the sucked up some flour to make sure it was suffocated and then took it outside to the big trash. It was an experience.
5. I wish I could write a book. But, I have no imagination whatsoever. Its sad really. Not to mention, I suck at writing.
6. I have always wanted to be really good at something. Like exceptionally good. I know I am decent at a lot of things, but I would like to be excellent at one thing. Haven't found it yet.
7. I was always so shy. I used to make my self sick in order not to participate in the primary program at church (sorry mom.) I hated having all eyes on me. It made me nervous when people would talk to me. Now, the older I get the more I realize how silly it all really is. Not that I like being the center of attention but it doesn't make me want to vomit like it used to. I try to go out of my way to talk to people now because I realize we are all the same. Most people just don't talk to each other because they are shy too, not because they are stuck up or mean. But as an adult I have really come out of my shell, so to speak.
8. I have lost my adventurous spirit. As a youth, I would do a lot of stupid stuff. Mostly things like ride my bike off totally rickety bike ramps, skate around dodgy neighborhoods, climb trees as high as I could and so on. While I still like to do things like mud runs, its all so much more controlled now. I am scared. I don't know if its because I am more aware of danger now, or if being a mom makes you so much more cautious?
9. I secretly wish I was a fancy chef.
10. I have an aversion to the ocean. I don't really like it. I think its vastness scares me.
11. I am stronger than I ever thought possible. With each new challenge in my life, I think "there is no way I am going to get through this", and inevitably, I do. Of course its never on my own, I have support and the gospel to ground me. But I never would have thought 10 years ago that I could make it through some of the challenges I have had. And in the end each obstacle has made me stronger.
12. In general, I really try to be considerate. I try hard to help others and think of them often. However I have learned that not everybody is like this. Some people just don't care. Even in the little things, like holding a door open for someone, or helping an elderly person pick something up at the store. I think this and common courtesy are really intertwined. It drives me bonkers that other people are not like this. Flaky people and I do not get along. If you say your going to do it, DO IT. If your gonna be late, call. If you see a lady with a kid, hold the door. And so on....Just because I remember something special it doesn't mean it has to be reciprocated, but for Pete sakes people say thank you.
13. I am scared of my kids growing up. It makes me happy to see them progress, but I am scared because I know eventually they will be making big decisions on their own and I just hope they make the right ones.
14. I have never broken a bone (knock on wood) I have had stitches in my lip, and sprains in my ankles and thumbs and plenty of jammed fingers but never a broken bone. For that matter I have never had a bloody nose either.
15. I love animals. LOVE them. I always had them growing up and we had a dog early in our marriage. The thought of having a dog now just makes me sick. I already have so much on my plate, I cannot take care of another thing. I love just telling my kids to go play in the yard without worry of poop, or feeding or anything. I am such an old lady now.
16. I hate crowds. I don't know why. But if I see a huge line anywhere I usually wont go. I wont sit long for a table at a restaurant, if the line at the theater is long...see ya. I don't think there is anyone in the world I would wait hours in a line to see. But that's me.
17. I hate driving at night.
18. I really used to care what people thought of me. I am sure most people at some point in their life do. But, I just don't anymore. I am who I am. If you don't like it, I guess we wont be friends I find the only people that I really care what they think of me, are the same people who love me no matter how I am or what I look like.
19. I like to read. If I find a good book, its goodbye to the world for a few days until its done. I cant put it down and thus, my life gets neglected.
20. I am a very simple person. I always have been. Its the simple things in life that make me happy. I am always amazed at nature, or the world around me. I like to watch things be built, and created. It doesn't take much to please me, for me it really is the thought that counts.
21. Along with the simpleness of myself, I am very practical. I don't intentionally look at things from a practical standpoint. When I look back, I realize my decisions are always so practical. I choose the most efficient and logical routes to problems. If it doesn't make sense, don't do it. I don't like to spend money on things that I can do myself or are not necessity. I am kinda a spinster.
22. I am an active person. I love to get out and play sports or work out. I am actually really excited for when all my kids are old enough where we can all play a sport together...
23. Someday I would like to go back to school. I just hope that when I do, I can finally figure out what I want to be :)
24. My family is my life. I am with them 24/7. I honestly cannot remember what I did before the kids. Its sad to say that when I don't have my kids or my hubby around, I am at a loss of what to do.
25. I feel like the world is falling apart sometimes. That the moral fiber of society is being torn apart and that by the time my kids are adults its going to be a really sad and scary place to live. Why is it that if you have faith and morals you are somehow a bad person? It just doesn't make sense to me.
26. I suppose number 25 leads me to be so so thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. If I didn't have faith in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I really would be lost. I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I am thankful to be so. I know that Jesus is the Christ, that we have living prophets today and that the gospel of Jesus has been restored to the earth. I know that it is through the atonement that we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. I am thankful for Christs sacrifice which enables us to repent and be made clean. I am thankful for the courage it gives me to stand up for what I believe and to have a sure foundation beneath my feet. I am thankful for eternal families and the peace that I receive from my Heavenly Father. Through whom, all things are possible.
27. I love my family more than anything. I would do anything for them. I am constantly amazed at how much I can love individual people. Sometimes even looking at my kids brings me to tears. I finally understand when my mom would say, "you will know when your a mom." Well you were right mom. I love Seth just the same and I am so incredibly thankful for him and the kids. Without them my life would be empty.
28. I hate the feeling of falling. That's probably why I will never jump out of an airplane. I honestly dont think I could do it for a million dollars.
29. I currently have two motto's I am trying to live by and they are " you cant change the circumstances your in you can only change your attitude toward them." And despite my love for my kids they do drive me a little nutty and that's why I try to live by "children need the most love when they are acting most unlovable"
30. I am really happy in my life right now. I am unsure and yet excited about what the next 10 years will bring. Probably tears of joy and sorrow. But I have a great family who supports me and I have a husband who stands by me. I realize that life is always changing and I need to be able to adapt. I need to learn patience and try to be better everyday. I need to serve those around me and spend more time with my kids. They are growing fast too, and soon they wont let me smooch them anymore. My thirties are dedicated to being a little better every day!
